Long Live Dead Reckless Read online

“That maybe I went swimming in the fountain because of peer pressure and ran away before the dean could expel me?”

  He laughed.

  “Oh, the dean, huh? Yeah, he’s coming this way.”

  “Oh – God – save me,” I mouthed, stiffening as tightly as I could against the tree. I could hear the dean approaching. I just stared at Sage, eyes pleading.

  “Mr. Talis, it’s good to see you,” the dean said, his voice getting closer. Sage cut his eyes at me and smiled sweetly. Suddenly, he held his hand up.

  “Uh, I wouldn’t come any closer, sir,” Sage said.

  The footsteps stopped right on the other side of the tree. My heart was beating so hard I could swear the tree was shaking.

  “Is – is it a snake?” the dean asked.

  Sage shrugged.

  “No, I just farted.”

  I slapped my hand over my mouth. Sage did not just say that! The dean cleared his throat and said something under his breath before retreating. I stood there against the tree, soaking wet, mouth dropped open. We stared at each other until he winked at me, then I started laughing so hard there was no way the dean hadn’t heard me. I still couldn’t believe Sage said that. He pulled off his hoodie and paused to look at me before offering it. I guess I looked nervous to take it.

  “I didn’t really,” he said, chuckling. “Sorry to be so crass. I figured it would work.”

  “But I don’t want to ruin your jacket.”

  He held it higher, to my eye level.

  “You couldn’t ruin anything.”

  I took it gratefully, feeling a little exposed in my liquid dress. It was a gentlemanly gesture and an excuse to wear something that belonged to Sage. I pulled it over my head and sighed lightly as the soft fleece spread over my skin. The hoodie was warm so I blushed, lavishing the fact that it had just been on his skin. Then Azalea and Mannix came over and ruined everything. I wanted to drag Sage away so we could stare longingly at each other in peace, but I did want Azalea to meet Sage. After I introduced him, Azalea stroked an invisible beard.

  “So this is the infamous Sage? I can’t believe you’re real. Mind if I pinch you?”

  I slapped her hand away as she reached out towards him. She arched a brow at me. Sage adjusted his hat.

  “What am I infamous for?”

  I took control of the situation before Azalea could open her mouth. I ushered to Mannix.

  “And this is Azalea’s something...Manny? Or Manic? I’m sorry. What is it?”

  Mannix stuck his chin in the air. Sage did the same.

  “It’s Mannix, princess.”

  “Her name is Talor,” Sage countered.

  “Anyway, Azalea is the reason I needed your hoodie, Sage. It was her idea.”

  Mannix rested one hand on his chest and wrapped the other arm around Azalea.

  “Shame you missed it.”

  Sage’s jaw was tight. Too tight for him to say anything, I guess.

  “Mannix, see how Talor tries to make me out to be the bad one? It was fun and Talor knows it. She just doesn’t want a certain person to think less of her,” Azalea pouted.

  Mannix kissed her on the cheek and pointed at me.

  “This one has a siren inside her. At least, she wants one in her,” he said, flashing a wicked grin.

  Sage gripped his messenger bag tighter.

  “It was nice meeting you, Azalea. I’ll see you at work, Talor? I have to go.”

  His words were cordial, but his tone wasn’t.

  “I’m glad you’re real and actually cute!” Azalea called after him.

  When Sage was out of earshot, Azalea gave me her opinion. She watched him all the way past the fountain.

  “He walks like a cowboy, doesn’t he? Yeehaw. And he’s speckled in freckles.”

  I smiled. I could still smell his skin on his hoodie. Naturally, I rubbed my face in it like a cat.

  “I know. Can you blame me?”

  Azalea tried to fluff her wet curls.

  “No. You should definitely tie him up before he gets away. Need to borrow some rope?”

  Mannix wrapped his arms around her from behind and leaned towards her ear.

  “You know he can hear you, right?”

  “You’re crazy. He’s way over there,” Azalea argued.

  Mannix ran his tongue across his teeth as he looked where Sage was just about to go into a building. I followed his gaze and noticed Sage pause before going through the doors. He didn’t turn around. Mannix winked as he gave a salute. When I looked back, Sage was gone.

  “You owe Talor some money,” Azalea said, grabbing his chin.

  “You can keep it,” I answered, turning and walking away without looking back.

  The money felt dirty and I never even touched it. Mannix was worth investigating a little more, and Sage seemed to know a few things I didn’t. I would make it a point to talk to him about it. If nothing else, it gave me just one more reason to talk to him, and one more reason is all I ever needed.

  15

  Rose Warren was the first friend I made at school. We weren’t fast friends. She bullied me at first, pushing me on the playground and calling me ugly. But I wasn’t innocent, either. I think I threw rocks at her. Our friendship was born the day I drew her a unicorn and she drew me a barn; I guess for it to live in. Who knows if unicorns really need barns, but the artwork ended the feud.

  She spent middle and high school homeschooled, but we remained friends. A few days after the fountain incident, I went for my morning run like I did every Saturday. I had just finished when I got a call from Rose’s mom. She said Rose was in the hospital because she tried to overdose the day before and had to be rushed to the ER. Apparently, Rose had been asking for me and since the doctors were probably going to keep her for psychiatric evaluation, Mrs. Warren said I should drop by.

  When I got to her hospital room, Rose was alone. Her face was towards the window with the blinds mostly drawn, but a sliver of light streamed in on her face. She was sitting up in the bed with this vacant expression. I didn’t know what to expect. I cleared my throat and knocked. It must have brought her back from wherever she was in her mind. She turned and looked at me, a flit of happiness spreading on her face.

  “I was just thinking about you.”

  Her voice was hoarse, like she’d been screaming. I walked in holding the drawing I sketched before I came. It was a unicorn standing in a barn. It was terribly done, but I knew it would make her smile. I held it up as I approached.

  “I thought you might like this for old time’s sake. Sorry my art skills haven’t improved since fourth grade.”

  She smiled. It seemed hard for her to do. I put the picture on the side table and reached out to touch her hand. It was clammy, but I held it anyway. I noticed a tray of uneaten food out of the corner of my eye. A vase of flowers and a balloon sat on the bedside table. She wasn’t really looking me in the face. Her focus was on a ceiling tile. She blinked slowly.

  “I’m so glad you’re here. I can talk about him with you. No one else cares. I can’t live without him. It feels like I’m dying inside.”

  I swallowed hard. I should have prepared myself for this conversation, but I wanted to get there quickly. I had to dig deep to find the confidence I was lacking.

  “Well, some of us can’t live without you, Rose. We need you here, ok? We want you here.”

  “Spencer doesn’t,” she answered sharply.

  I squeezed her hand.

  “So many people love you.”

  Her lip started to tremble.

  “I don’t know why he doesn’t want me anymore. I don’t know why. Did you find the girl that broke us up?”

  I sat in the side chair beside the bed.

  “Rose, what happened?”

  Tears started to fall and she brought her hand up to wipe them away.

  “I need him. He said he was in love with someone else, so he was setting me free.”

&nb
sp; I gulped.

  “He’s a jerk, Rose. I mean, when’s the last time you saw him?”

  Her gaze shifted to the wall.

  “I don’t remember.”

  She squinted her eyes like she was reading something small on the wall. I actually looked over. It was just a wall. Her voice was shaky, like she was afraid to remember.

  “He was in some suit. I asked him why he was dressed up, but he just kept trying to kiss me. He acted like he was in pain or something. He was saying horrible things. I told him I would take him to the hospital, but he left. I haven’t seen him since. I don’t know what was wrong with him.”

  I let go of her hand and walked towards the window. I leaned against the windowsill and tried to keep my breathing natural, but the next breath kept getting caught in my throat. She just confirmed my fears. Something really was wrong with Spencer. I didn’t know how to respond. I was the cause of all the pain. I gripped my forehead, squeezing hard, knowing I would have to get through the next few minutes without losing it. I had to be a good friend since I hadn’t been a good one lately.

  “Why did they have to bring you here, Rose? What did you do?”

  She didn’t say anything. I looked over my shoulder and saw her looking down at her hands and crying, so I went back over and sat on the bed beside her.

  “I’m sorry. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

  She kept shaking her head, like she was getting frustrated.

  “I didn’t do anything. No one believes me. I didn’t do anything. I just collapsed. They said I was doing drugs, but Talor, I’ve never done anything like that. No one believes me!”

  “I believe you,” I reassured her, grabbing her hand and squeezing it.

  I heard a tap at the door. Mrs. Warren poked her head in. We both looked over as she brought a plate from the cafeteria. She kissed Rose on the cheek and hugged my neck.

  “I’m glad to see you, Talor. Rose, honey, I brought you some of the chicken and potatoes from the cafeteria you said you liked.”

  “I’m not hungry,” Rose yelled. “If I get skinnier, he’ll come back. He’ll want me again!”

  She became violent then, throwing the plate across the room and screaming. Nurses came charging in to restrain her. I backed away from the fray, my hand covering my mouth. Mrs. Warren started to crumple up and cry, rushing out into the hallway. I followed, catching her in a hug. She was a petite, sweet woman, and I had never seen Rose disrespect her.

  “I’m so sorry, Mrs. Warren. That’s not Rose. You know that,” I said, soothing her.

  “I just want my baby back. Oh God! What did that monster do to my baby?”

  Monster. That’s not far off, actually. I let her cry on my shoulder, so disoriented that I couldn’t think of a single thing to say to comfort her. I pat her on the back as we stood there in the hall. I watched the nurses give Rose a tranquilizer. It put her out in seconds. They filed out once she was sedated. When things were quiet, Mrs. Warren managed a warm smile at me through the tears.

  “You’re such a good person, Talor. I’m so glad Rose has a friend like you. I know your mama would be so proud of the person you are.”

  I gave her a final squeeze and had to let her go before the tears began to fall. I was ashamed of myself, acting like a good friend when I was the source of all the trouble. My mother wouldn’t have been proud of me at all. I looked back in the hospital room.

  “What drugs did she take?”

  Mrs. Warren followed my gaze.

  “That’s the strangest part of all this, Talor. They didn’t find anything in the lab tests. Nothing. But the doctors swear it was an overdose. She had all the symptoms. She says she didn’t try to kill herself. Is it crazy that I believe her? I don’t know what to think.”

  “That’s not crazy to me at all, actually.”

  I was just standing in the middle of the Elements Coffee parking lot reliving the events of the afternoon in my head. It wasn’t until a car horn honked at me that I came out of my daze and wandered aimlessly inside. It was busy. There were more people waiting on drinks and sitting at tables than I’d ever seen before.

  I took a place in line and shuffled along as it moved, staring at the floor, imaging what Spencer and Rose could have been into. He was missing. She was in the psych ward. The world was still turning, but it was wonky, like reality was reflecting back from a funhouse mirror. Rose had never done anything crazy before. None of it made sense. I forgot where I was again.

  “Ma’am?”

  The voice was a barista behind the counter. There were a few people waiting in line behind me stomping impatiently. Startled, I pulled out my wallet.

  “Oh, what do you have with cinnamon in it?”

  He pointed to the menu.

  “We have cinnamon –”

  I interrupted him.

  “Never mind. Excuse me.”

  I didn’t want anything at all. I just wanted to sit somewhere alone and cry. I felt this overwhelming sense of shame in myself. I had made out with my friend’s boyfriend, caused him to break up with her, and it all landed her in the hospital. I was a bad person. Bad people don’t deserve good coffee. I moved away from the counter and bolted straight for the single stall bathroom where I washed my face. I leaned over the sink and realized I had forgotten deodorant that morning.

  Using the paper towels, I gave myself a makeshift bath. I dug through my purse to see what I had in there. The only thing I could find with any scent was a trial size honeysuckle hand lotion. I cringed as I put lotion under my arms. Smelling like honeysuckles was better than the alternative. I flapped my arms up and down like a chicken trying to take off.

  I gave myself a disappointed once over in the mirror before leaving. I looked as terrible as I felt. I walked to the window to watch the sunset. The autumn sky was exploding with burning oranges and velvety purples. It was soothing, so I wrapped my scarf tighter and pushed open the door. The weather had finally started to change. It was cooler now. Cold, almost. As I started past the empty iron tables outside, I heard someone rushing up behind me.

  “Excuse me, ma’am!” the voice called.

  I stopped and looked back. The Elements barista strolled up and held a coffee apprehensively.

  “You left this at the counter.”

  I shook my head.

  “No, I didn’t get anything.”

  “No, a guy bought it for you. He’s here all the time. Always buys the person behind him a coffee. It was you this time.”

  I scanned the people at the tables and on the couches inside. I didn’t know anyone.

  “I’m sorry. I don’t – just give it to someone else.”

  He looked at the words written on the side of the cup.

  “Are you Ta-al-lor? Cinnamon hot chocolate with whipped cream? And a cherry?”

  I smiled.

  “Yes, I’m Tay-lor. There’s a cherry in it?”

  He nodded and handed it to me before going back inside. I breathed in the creamy smell, letting the cup warm my hands. I opened the top and I stepped back onto the curb. Pulling the cherry off the top, I took a sip. Sage walked around to stand in front of me, cute as ever. He was wearing this green beanie hat slung back on his head and those hair ends were flipping out of the sides again. Just seeing him made me smile. I held up the cherry.

  “I believe this is yours, sir?”

  He took the cherry and popped it in his mouth.

  “So, how is it?”

  “I love it. Thank you.”

  He nodded as he finished his own espresso shot and turned to toss the cup in the trashcan. I took the opportunity to check him out, of course. The hot chocolate settled in my stomach about the same time, making me sweat. Goodness. I was feeling better already. I had to loosen my scarf as I looked at him.

  “So, espresso for you this time? Not lemonade?”

  He tapped his jacket pocket. There was a tiny notebook in it.

 
“I’m writing songs. Never know when it might go all night.”

  “Wow. You must be really inspired to go all night.”

  I didn’t mean for it to sound the way it did. He studied me for a moment and then looked away.

  “I’m not – I’m not bothering you, am I? Were you supposed to meet someone?”

  I wanted to laugh. Looking like this? No one would have me. I didn’t say that. I was in the strangest mood. He was smiling, making me feel all confused and giddy. Hadn’t I just been torturing myself for my plethora of bad decisions?

  “No,” I said, shaking my head as I rotated the warm cup in my hands.

  “Oh, good. Then would you mind my company?”

  I was not dressed for a makeshift date. My hair was dirty. I was wearing sweaty yoga pants, his hoodie, and zero makeup. Even worse, I was emotionally unstable and raw, ready to bawl at any moment. Also, I had been busted wearing his hoodie. Plus, I forgot deodorant that morning, so I couldn’t offer to give it back to him in case it smelled.

  I didn’t remember actually brushing my teeth that morning, so I freaked out and put the cup in front of my smile. Despite all that, a cute, well put together Sage wanted to spend time with me. I decided he looked good enough for the both of us, so I would just have to deal with my embarrassing lack of hygiene. I would never pass him up – even looking, feeling, and probably smelling like garbage.

  “Sure, but I don’t know if there’s a seat in there.”

  He thumbed over his shoulder.

  “Actually, I know a place you’ll like. Come with me?”

  He led me to the end of the building and we took a left. I couldn’t believe that almost hidden in plain sight was this serene garden park. It was at least three acres of garden and lawn. There was a ground fountain that spanned the entire length of the park in the middle, and there were lights on the interior sides of the walls so it was lit up at night. At dusk, it was purely magical. Large rocks were compiled in the fountain and smooth slabs of concrete jut out on either side so people could sit beside the water. There was even a tiny garden maze. Two small Japanese maples glowed bright red like burning bushes.

  Sage stepped in front of me and turned.