Long Live Dead Reckless Page 17

  He searched book titles until he started to pluck one off the shelf. There were already a few in his hand. Intrigued, I was trying to read their titles sideways when his gaze shifted from the bookshelf. It was a sobering feeling when his eyes fell on me. We just looked at each other a moment, neither of us speaking or moving. I blinked first. Dang. He really did see me. He put the book back on the shelf. Immediately, I wanted to know what it was.

  “Hey,” he said.

  I didn’t answer. I just gathered myself up and headed to the rear stairwell – the back way out of the library. I only got two steps down when he caught me by the arm.

  “Please talk to me,” he pleaded.

  I looked at his fingers on my arm and frowned. He pulled his hand back as I faced him. I leaned on the railing beside me for support to get through the confrontation.

  “I have somewhere to be,” I lied.

  “I’m sorry, Talor. I’m so sorry.”

  He sounded like he meant that. Still, I wasn’t ready for everything to be ok. I was hurt. Humiliated. I held my hand up and hinged my lips into something of a smile. It was uneven and trembling, but it looked like a smile.

  “No need to apologize. I told you that we could just be friends.”

  He slowly reached back and locked the door behind us. It was a narrow stairwell, one that didn’t see much traffic. I watched him put his books down on the floor and it occurred to me that he was going to do something.

  “You think that I don’t like you? Is that what this is?” he asked, dropping his chin a little.

  Something about his manner told me I could finally have what I wanted. I’d never been kissed in the stairwell, but I imagined it with Sage. I could have it right then if I forgot all about Valerie.

  For the first time, those fantasies felt cheap. I thought he was a gentleman, but he wasn’t. I never thought the day would come when I didn’t want him to kiss me, but it did in that drafty old stairwell. I didn’t know the truth about Valerie yet. I had dreamed about losing myself with him in every secluded place I ever passed, but when it came right down to it – it wasn’t just sexual attraction anymore. My heart was in it now, and I needed answers, not fantasies. I shook my head.

  “I don’t know what you want.”

  “We want the same thing,” he answered, blinking for the first time in the conversation. I guess since I was trapped, I couldn’t escape so he could actually blink without fear of me running off.

  I retreated a step or two, but he started to follow. Uh-oh.

  “I saw you kiss Valerie,” I snapped, maintaining space.

  He furrowed his brow.

  “Oh.”

  “You know, silly me thinking you liked me when you were making out with her all of five minutes –”

  I couldn’t finish because my voice broke at the end. I was so mad about that. I had kept control of my emotions the whole time until then. I had to cover my mouth and close my eyes for a second to get a hold of myself. When I glanced back, he was eying me, his face softening.

  “Talor, we need to talk. Meet me tonight.”

  “Why?” I asked, pinching between my eyes so I wouldn’t cry.

  “Because I want to fix this.”

  Fix it? Fix a hurting heart? What a male thing to say. I took a shuddering breath and looked down.

  “No, you don’t have to apologize. I told you, I get it. Now –”

  “I don’t want to apologize. You said you wanted to know me, and I want you to.”

  “Well, why now?”

  He gripped the railing with one hand, putting his weight against it so he could lean close. He lowered his voice like someone else was listening.

  “So that the next time we’re in a place like this, you won’t be talking about how Spencer did anything.”

  His gaze darted to my lips at the end, making me flush hot with the full heat of his words. He took his weight back and paused before picking up his books. So he was jealous. I started to smile, but a bang at the door startled me. It was a librarian. She peered at us through the window and pointed repeatedly at the lock. We stared at each other for a second before Sage straightened.

  “Come tonight. Please?”

  The librarian rapped her knuckles against the glass window again, so I scurried off in a hurry without answering. As I went out the door into the cool autumn rain, I passed the couple still kissing and found my own smile. We both knew my answer to his invitation. I didn’t know why, but I would be there. Anywhere he named.

  19

  Sage asked me to meet him at 3squares Diner. I’d never been there before. I’m a Waffle House girl myself, but I had to see him after the library stairwell. Things were weird between us, and I was ready to know the truth about Sage after three months of smoke and mirrors. I had to know about his feelings towards Valerie if nothing else. He asked me out for coffee because he knew I never turn down a late night cup in a diner. It’s the closest I’ll ever get to being in a ‘90s music video.

  I got there before he did. It was late and the place was so dead, I wondered if it was even actually open. There were lights on inside, and a waitress leaning against the counter reading a tabloid. I came in, sat down, and the waitress brought a steaming cup of coffee over without asking. About five minutes later, Sage eased himself across from me in the booth with broken springs. I had tried several other booths, but they were all broken or ripped.

  Seeing him again brought fresh color to my lips and I couldn’t help but shape them into a smile to match his. My ignorant bliss was short-lived since I did notice something strange about him then. There were no freckles on his skin. I blinked to be sure, but no. His skin was sans freckles. The plump waitress started to make her way over to us, but he waved her away quickly. She disappeared into the back and the diner became eerily silent. Our eyes met.

  “I was scared you wouldn’t come,” he said.

  After what you said earlier? How could I not? I didn’t say that, but I thought it.

  “You said you’d explain,” I answered, shrugging.

  “It’s hard,” he said.

  “Well, it was hard for me to show up,” I said shortly, coming across a little sharper than I meant.

  There was no sizzling bacon, no cash register ding, and no song playing in the background. We were alone, both on the edge of our seats, sitting under a thick solemn tone. It was like he was gathering his thoughts and trying to situate them in the best order before sharing them. I poured two creamers in my coffee and stirred before he broke the uncomfortable silence.

  “I know. I’m glad you’re here.”

  I nodded graciously, trying not to torture him. He was doing a good job of that himself, wringing out his hands like they were in a gladiator match to the death. He was never this nervous, never this obvious. I started thinking wildly about what his secret could be. If Spencer was a drug lord, what was the quiet, well-mannered Sage?

  “What I’m going to tell you, Talor…might make you laugh. It might make you think I’m crazy, but please, please don’t let it scare –” he began, clearing his throat.

  “Why isn’t ‘Have a Waffle Great Day’ playing?” I rudely interrupted, not so secretly terrified of what he was going to admit.

  He looked slightly confused, but quickly straightened his leg under the table and reached his hand down. He pulled a quarter from his pocket and handed it to me across the table.

  “Um, this is 3squares. They probably don’t have that song here.”

  I took the quarter anyway and I ran over to the jukebox. I slipped the quarter in and started looking through the H’s. “Hard to Say I’m Sorry”, “How Do I Live”…wait!

  “Ah-ha! They do have it!” I exclaimed, maybe a little too excited.

  As I came back to the booth, “Have a Waffle Great Day” started playing. I felt a little better hearing something goofy and familiar, but neither of us could escape the nerves. I wanted the truth, but only if it was convenient
and tipped in my favor. If he was here to tell me Valerie was his girlfriend and they have an open relationship and he’s into weird stuff, I would run out bawling and throw my coffee at him. Probably in that order, too, because I hate confrontation.

  “I think this’ll be easier if you ask me what you want to know,” he suggested.

  “I might have made a list,” I replied, sitting.

  “Oh. Ok. Well, go ahead then.”

  It suddenly occurred to me how foolish I was about to look. While I was waiting on him to show up, I jotted down a few questions – about six. The only paper I had on me was my pocket notebook one of the regular nursery kids bought me for my birthday a few months back. It had fuzzy binders and a goofy phone with a face on the front. To make things worse, I had to use my only pen – a small lipstick shaped, lipstick-sized pen – to write the list.

  I tried to throw it in my purse before he saw it, but my aim was off. I missed the purse opening and the pen bounced off the wall, ricocheting to the middle of the table before spinning around. He looked down at it as it came to a stop. He pointed at it and opened his mouth, but I flipped open my notebook and started talking before he could.

  “Are you or Mannix dating Valerie and if so, is it a weird progressive open relationship threesome type thing? Also, are you into that?” I asked sternly. I was displaying confidence, but my arms and voice were shaking.

  “No…to every part of that very personal question, actually,” he said, smiling briefly. He covered his mouth and gripped his chin as he worked on trying not to laugh.

  I felt myself ease up a little as I checked off the question with my finger. I didn’t dare reach for the lipstick pen. He would never answer another question seriously if I wrote down his answers with that.

  “What happened in the grove?” I asked, feeling the air shift as I did.

  “What did you see?”

  “You kissing Valerie. And changing your shirt afterwards, but mostly the kissing part.”

  His hand moved from his jaw to his cheekbone, stroking it deep in thought.

  “Yeah, I wasn’t kissing her, Talor.”

  “I saw you.”

  He narrowed his eyes.

  “Wait. Were you hiding behind a tree?”

  I swallowed hard and at first, I tried to deny it.

  “What? Tree? No. Maybe. Yes. But it was dark out there, and you,” I sighed, pausing to take in a deep breath. “I saw you grab her hair and – you – I know you kissed her!”

  He looked across the booth at me.

  “I want to kiss you.”

  Not past tense. But present tense. I want to kiss you. My skin flushed, so I slammed my fuzzy notebook closed and fidgeted with my hands to distract from my face.

  “You obviously didn’t that night.”

  He tilted his head a little, his expression softening.

  “It wouldn’t have been right.”

  “Because of Spencer?” I asked, not daring to look at him.

  “God…him again? No, it’s not about Spencer.”

  “Then why did you kiss her?” I demanded, feeling a little bolder.

  “I didn’t,” he corrected, grimacing.

  It seemed like he wanted to say more, but he couldn’t. When he didn’t say anything after a few seconds, I stuck my notebook in my purse with force.

  “I don’t even know why I came here. I’m just stupid about you, Sage. I should’ve known you’d come up with some vague excuse. I mean, what is this? What’s wrong with you?”

  I grabbed for my lipstick pen in the middle of the table, but Sage swiped it so fast it was alarming. He held it up in his palm. His voice gained immediacy.

  “I want to tell you.”

  “Then tell me,” I growled.

  He adopted this pleading look then, his eyes growing a little wider as his brows eased away from them.

  “Just don’t be afraid of me, ok? I know you’re going to be, but I don’t want you to.”

  I took in a deep breath. Why would I be afraid? Something big was brewing between us –total honesty. Scary honesty, apparently. I looked him over again. Yeah, there were definitely no freckles.

  “Where are your freaking freckles?” I asked, making a sweeping gesture at him.

  He looked directly at me, trying to work out the words in his throat. There was a moment before he spoke that I thought if I blinked, I’d suddenly wake up.

  “They come and go based on how much I need them.”

  “You’re telling me that you have disappearing reappearing freckles?”

  “I’m not exactly human, Talor.”

  “So what are you? An alien?”

  He blinked.

  “More like what you know as a vampire.”

  The jukebox played cheerfully as I stared him down. I always knew there was something strange about him; he didn’t eat much, he always drank water, and he always added salt to it. But none of that meant Sage was a vampire. I started to laugh, but the serious look on his face stopped me. I winked at him.

  “Oh, right! All vampires are warm to the touch, walk in daylight, and eat normal food. And they actually exist. I forgot about that.”

  Sage leaned forward.

  “I’m different than you expect.”

  I just stared at him, unsure how to respond. Should I play along or leave? He relaxed back in the booth.

  “Do you know what a siren is?”

  “Like on a fire truck? I mean, like in Greek mythology?” I asked, correcting myself quickly.

  He gave a sly smile.

  “Yeah, what do you think you know about them?”

  “They lived on an island, killed a bunch of people. Odysseus and a horse…I’m a bit fuzzy on that, but…they were all female and they also had wings, so,” I replied, arching my neck to look at his shoulder, thinking I had stumped him. No wings. “I think you need a new origin story, champ.”

  “Don’t believe everything you read,” he said, raising a brow.

  “Or everything some guy tells you to get out of explaining kissing another girl.”

  He looked at me like he wanted to wipe something off my face.

  “Sometimes humans get things wrong about us. You know, little details and big details and believing we don’t exist.”

  His wittiness caught me off guard. I gave an uneasy smile. I was caught somewhere between actually believing him and knowing he was in need of anti-psychotic meds. I brought the coffee to my lips and took a slow sip. Ok, let’s pretend it’s for real. If he was a siren, my unprecedented, overpowering attraction to him was explained. But that wasn’t enough; seeing him in a tight pair of pants would have brought me to the same conclusion.

  A siren. Huh. That would explain why he’s the singer in the band. Maybe salt water curbed cravings or something. When he mentioned that he was in a rock band, I was secretly thrilled. Since we were only technically dating, I figured that’s why I hadn’t met his band mates yet. They were probably just like him. I guess it isn’t easy introducing the girl you like to your vampire buddies. They might bite her.

  “So you’re half siren, half vampire? Two mythological creatures? Not a human being? You’re going with it, then? You look very human to me unless there’s something, um, else different? Not that I’m asking.”

  Mortified, I closed my eyes and hid behind the coffee cup. Was I really insinuating that he had different plumbing and actually asking about it? Smooth, Talor. I had to open my eyes because it was getting weirder not looking at him, but I didn’t want to.

  “I’m not half anything.”

  “Not even half human?”

  “My mother was fully human, so everything about me, as far as physically, is normal, so yeah…to answer that question,” he replied, his lips flattening against each other in embarrassment.

  “Oh good,” I cried, touching my hand to my heart. “I mean, good for you. That’s – I’m so happy. For you, I mean.”

  He didn�
�t respond, so I started stirring my coffee with my finger. I didn’t realize I was doing that until Sage offered me a spoon. I took it and stirred my coffee for no reason except to give my nerves something to do.

  “So I guess that means your dad was a vampire? Is a vampire, I mean. I didn’t know vampires could, you know, procreate. I thought they were kinda dead. If they were real, I’m saying.”

  He scratched the table quietly with his fingernail.

  “Vampires aren’t dead, but we don’t need to get into all that right now.”

  “Well, if you’re not dead, do you age? Can you die? How old are you? Also, do you kind of turn into monsters with horns after kissing innocent people?”

  His drew his lips into his mouth with a heavy brow.

  “Like Spencer?”

  I stared at him and stopped stirring my coffee. Spencer was one of them, too? He seemed so normal. Now I would have to watch Sage get whisked away to a mental hospital for delusions, just like dad. Or worse, he was doing this to make fun of me. I tried to keep myself together. I couldn’t believe he was that kind of guy. He couldn’t be.

  “Sage, did someone tell you about my dad?”

  His expression changed as he stretched his hand across the table. I pulled back, my lips quivering.

  “Talor, wait. No, don’t do that. Please. I don’t know anything about your father, but if I said something that hurt you, I’m sorry. If I’m a little blunt, it’s because I’m from a time when people knew about supernatural creatures. Now you think we only exist in the imagination, but we’re real. I’m real, and I just want to help you. Not hurt you.”

  I didn’t say anything, but I wouldn’t let him touch me.

  “I know you need to see them, you just don’t want to ask,” he said quietly.

  I knit my brow, not sure what he meant. Before I had time to ask, ominous, sharp fangs extended from his gums. I thought I was imagining it, but no, there they were, the real fangs of a real vampire! His eyes dilated until there was no beautiful hazel left. They were strange and inhuman, like a wild beast was looking out at me. I remained silent and still as they retreated back into normal teeth.